A loving family is something many of us take for granted. We often think of happy times when we think of our childhood - playing in the park with our dad, baking cookies with mom - however some people don’t know what it means to be in a family where you are loved and supported.
When Mary was a child, she though it was normal for parents to disappear for days at a time. Her mother was an alcoholic and would often leave Mary and her younger brother, George, alone for days at a time. They would eat what little food was left in the house and go hungry when the food was gone. When their mother returned, she would often beat Mary for no reason. One day, Mary’s mother decided she was leaving for good. She took her belongings with her, but left her children behind.
Mary and George went to live with their father, and soon after her father remarried a woman with two children of her own. The stepmother made Mary and her brother sleep in the garage. She didn’t want them interfering with her life and her children. She ignored them.
During this time, Mary’s baby teeth began to fall out and her adult teeth began to grow. She never went to the dentist and her teeth didn’t grow straight down in her mouth, rather they grew straight out. The teeth stuck so far out of her mouth that it was difficult for her to close her mouth. Children at school began to make fun of her by teasing and yelling at her simply because of her teeth.
When Mary was in high school, years of emotional and physical abuse by her mother and stepmother led her to run away. She just couldn’t take the abuse any longer. While she was living on the streets, she craved the attention of men who were noticing her and giving her the affection and love she never received at home when she was growing up. Soon, Mary got married and was pregnant. Her husband left her after the baby was born and did not send Mary any child support. Mary couldn’t make ends meet with a small child. Soon she found herself homeless again. While she was living at Champa House, a homeless shelter, a staff member there referred Mary to Colorado Homeless Families.
Mary and her son with Connie Zimmerman, CHF Executive Director
The staff at Colorado Homeless Families welcomed Mary and her son and soon learned first hand about the emotional abuse that Mary experienced growing up. When her step-mother found out that Mary was living at Colorado Homeless Families she came and told the staff what a horrible person Mary was and that she didn’t deserve any help and should be living on the streets. She didn’t want to see Mary succeed and get her life back on track. CHF staff, however, told Mary over and over again that she was valued. They showed her that she was respected and that she could succeed if she worked hard in the program. They kept telling her over and over again that she was important.
Mary worked hard at CHF to improve her life. She attended counseling and support group meetings and went to school to improve her education so she could get a better job to support herself and her son.
There was also another problem that Mary had to overcome—her teeth. Mary’s teeth stuck out so far and were so rotted that CHF staff knew it would be a hindrance for Mary when she was looking for a job. With the help of a local dentist, CHF was able to pay for Mary to get the dental care and surgery that she needed to fix her teeth. Her confidence increased tremendously when she had a pretty smile to show off!
After completing the two year program at CHF, Mary moved into her own apartment and got a job as an administrative assistant at a construction firm. She took great pride in being able to support herself and her son and for the first time she knew and understood that she was an important, valuable human being.
Colorado Homeless Families received a call from Mary two years after she graduated from the program. With the changing job market, Mary had found herself unemployed and wanted to go back to school to get a degree in computer graphic design. Mary considered Colorado Homeless Families her family since it was the only place she felt safe and loved, so she called up and asked if her and her son could move back to CHF for a few months while she completed her degree. Mary was welcomed back and proved to be an inspiration and positive role model for others in the program who had been in similar, emotionally abusive situations like she had. Today, Mary has only one quarter of school left to complete her degree in graphic design, her son is doing well, and she is getting ready to remarry. She tells the CHF staff that she never imagined she would be so happy.
Metro Denver area (7 counties) and to help them become self-sufficient within 18 months to two years.